Bonus of having so many amazing friends willing to act as my chemo buddy ....each round has me waking in a good mood because even though I will spend 4+ hours being poisoned I get to spend time with women I love and am blessed to have in my life.
Today my BFF Lisa will be my support and as a reward I will introduce her to one of my all time favorite movies "Pleasantville." My mind is still blown she's never seen this modern day classic. Treatment should be faster this time. 🤞🏻
I am hoping for a better time following this round. Last round I crashed on Day 4 and had a really rough weekend. Which reminded me how we should always show compassion to people we meet out in public. I made it to Zach's graduation that Saturday ( I wouldn't miss it) but the night before I was so sick. Thanks to Zofran, Imodium and Codeine I made it and was able to enjoy the company. But if you met me or saw the pictures you'd never think that lady packed a change of clothes because she is so worried about having an accident. The diarrhea lasted for 7 days and on the following Thursday I ended up in the ER with a fever of 102. Still not 100% sure what it was. It could have been a neutropenic fever (my neutrophils were dangerously low- which is normal with this type of chemo) but I'm convinced it was some type of gastric bacterial infection because 2 doses of Flagyl and the diarrhea stopped. Again I didn't want to miss Shelby's Indy-Mini so I bought adult diapers and we hit the road like a scorned astronaut.
Just a little reminder there are people dealing with shit all around you. Maybe they just choose to look on the sunny side of the street. That's my philosophy. And it doesn't mean I'm some amazing warrior. I do have bad days. It's just that I came to cancer after experiencing some real shit. When it hit me on Shelby's birthday that she's the same age I was when my dad died by suicide, I knew I'd do whatever it takes to stay in my children's lives. Losing someone to mental illness leaves scars that never heal. My dad has been gone 25 years. I feel the scars but I don't pick at them anymore. I hope that one day treatment for mental illness will have as many options and support as cancer.
I love you sweet, strong, amazing Danell. I can’t believe it has been 25 years. I don’t know what else to say. I’m glad you don’t pick at the scars. Love, Becky
ReplyDeleteThanks Becky! Your support then and now warms my heart.
DeleteI too lost my dad to suicide due to mental illness. I was diagnosed with the same condition that he had. It's a daily struggle, but like you I want to be in my children's lives and my grandbabies lives. The not knowing why is the worst. Wishing you well with your treatments. Your strong and you got this. Most of all thanks for posting this.
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